"I will get his botty nice and warmed up Doris and then you can take over with the wooden paddle. He thinks he is a big grown-up university student but he is always behaving like a naughty little boy. Look at that - he is starting to cry already and we haven't even started! Well you know what they say - big boys do cry! And this big boy is going straight to bed without any supper as soon as you have finished reddening his lovely round rump. In fact, I think he should be sent to bed at six every evening for the rest of the month. That should keep him out of mischief!"